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PROFILE An Interview with Susan Heim
As a writer, editor and the mother of four boys, including a set of twins, Susan Heim says when she became a mother she discovered that existing books on parenting did not address the emotional impact of having a baby. So she set out to change that, writing Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year. Formerly a senior editor for Health Communications, Inc., – publisher of the best-selling Chicken Soup for the Soul series – Heim is also the author of Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families…with Twins, Multiples and Singletons, and It’s Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence. A resident of South Florida, Heim has a degree in Business Administration from Michigan State University. MWLM: You are the author of several parenting books, including a book on how having a baby will change one’s life and advice books for the parents of twins and multiples. You have not only twin preschoolers (both boys), but also two teenage sons. Tell us how having twins changed your life, and what life is like as a mother of four sons, especially with such a wide span of ages. SH: “It’s hard to know where to begin to describe how having twins changed my life! My two older boys were 10 and 13 when I learned I was pregnant with twins. After so many years, I thought I was done with the baby stage of parenting. So, to be suddenly thrust into the world of babies again—and then two at the same time—was quite a challenge! And then to find out they were two more boys was equally interesting. I grew up with just one sister, so having boys at all was never something that I really considered. I had saved my Barbie dolls to pass on to a future daughter, but my boys, of course, want nothing to do with my old toys! I had to learn to like what boys like—Power Rangers, Pokémon, Ninja Turtles, video games, trains and so on. Boys are very active, so they really keep me on my toes. And when you have boys as a set of twins, they tend to feed off each other’s energy, creating twice the chaos. So, in a nutshell, my life—and that of my family’s—changed dramatically with the birth of twin boys.” MWLM: How has your writing – the tone and tenor of it, the timing of it, the inspiration for it – been affected by motherhood, and specifically, by becoming the mother of twins? Were you a writer before you became a mother? Other than your own experiences, did you do research on other moms’ lives with multiples and with new babies in putting together your books? Have you also written about raising teenagers? SH: “I’ve always been an enthusiastic reader and writer, but becoming a mother, especially with twins, really kicked my writing into gear. It gave me a direction that I never had before. I found that there really wasn’t enough information out there for new parents and parents of multiples. Sure, there are a lot of parenting books that tell you how to make your baby happy, how to get him to sleep, how to breastfeed and so on, but after hearing so many women say that having a baby turned their lives upside-down, I realized there wasn’t enough attention being paid to the parents’ emotional needs when they have a baby. New parents are frequently surprised at how parenthood affects their self-esteem, their relationships with their spouse and friends, their spiritual lives and their career goals. That’s why I wrote, Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year. I wanted to give parents more information about that first year in parenting, and help them to meet the emotional and marital challenges they’d face. In the same vein, when I became pregnant with twins, I couldn’t find a lot of information on raising twins, especially past the baby and toddler stage. So I wrote, It’s Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence. This book includes advice all the way through the teen years. In writing both books, I spoke with a lot of parents about their lives, and their advice makes up the bulk of my books. I don’t presume to have all the answers myself, but we can learn a lot from other parents. I continue to connect with parents through my Web site, TwinsTalk, and my parenting blog at www.susanheim.blogspot.com. My two oldest boys are now 15 and 18, and I’ve written several articles on raising teens, which have been well-received. So perhaps that will be the subject of my next book!”
SH: “I love to see that more and more moms are writing about their lives and helping other parents. In the “old days,” women often felt isolated, whether they were stay-at-home moms or working in an office. Now, it’s great that they can get in touch with so many other parents to share advice and just make friends. Unfortunately, the traditional book publishing world is more competitive these days, and many publishers are printing fewer books. Those they do publish tend to be by authors who already have a built-in audience because they have a TV show, a speaking career or some other business that gives them wide exposure. But, thanks to the Internet, aspiring writers have more options now for getting their writing out to the public. Blogging can be a great way to begin to build an audience for your writing. In fact, I’ve heard of several new authors who have been “discovered” by editors who were looking through blogs. Writing a blog is also a great way to hone your writing skills and develop a style, whether you write humor or inspiration. Those who really want to see their name in print also have more self-publishing options these days, and the Internet is a great tool for promoting books. I could fill pages with tips for writers, but it all boils down to really educating yourself. Read everything you can about the publishing world—how to promote yourself, how to write proposals, how publishers select books and so on. It’s not enough these days to be a good writer. You also have to learn how to promote yourself. And develop a thick skin. Any successful writer can rattle off a list of rejections she’s received. Learn what you can from the rejections and keep going. Persistence is important.” MWLM: What kind of reaction have you gotten to your books and parenting articles/blogs? What has surprised you about the reaction to your writing? Is it a myth, in your opinion, that people – especially moms – don’t read as much as they used to? SH: “The response to my writing has been enormously gratifying. I love to hear from readers who say I helped them with their children or inspired them to write in spite of their busy parenting schedules. What has surprised me is how much we all have in common. Whether we’re from the South or the North, from the country or the city, or from the home or the workplace, we all come across the same issues, whether it’s getting our children to bed, toilet-training, sibling rivalry, adolescent angst or something else. We all can help each other. And I do think it’s a myth that moms don’t read as much as they used to. Of course, they’re not reading War and Peace, but they’re reading about subjects that matter to them, whether it’s in magazines, on the Web or in books. Moms will always want more information about raising their families because that is of utmost importance to them. We just need to get information to them that they can readily absorb when they have a spare moment here and there.” MWLM: Tell us about your writing background. You were formerly a senior editor for the Chicken Soup series of books. How did you get into editing/writing? Do you write on topics other than parenting? What projects do you have in the works right now? SH: “I really stumbled into writing and editing professionally by accident. I was a voracious reader and writer as a child and adolescent, but I never thought it was something from which I could make a living. When it was time to choose a major in college, I really had no direction. There was no degree for ‘author.’ I rejected journalism because I really didn’t see myself in the world of reporting or news casting. And I was told that all I could do with an English degree was teach, and I wasn’t sure I was cut out for that either. So I became a business major, figuring that would be helpful in a variety of fields. The funny thing is that, whatever job I held, I always gravitated toward tasks that involved writing. So with each job I held, I seemed to get closer and closer to publishing, until I was finally hired at Health Communications. I spent four years there until I had my twins and decided it was ‘now or never’ in terms of pursuing a freelance career as an editor and writer. I feel very fortunate that I was able to write about what I love—parenting—and also get published. I spend my days writing articles for the Web and magazines, promoting my books, working with publishers to edit other authors’ books, educating myself about the publishing industry, maintaining my blog and TwinsTalk site—there’s never a shortage of work! I’m also in the process of brainstorming for my next book. I have another proposal in the works about baby’s first year, a proposal for the Christian market (I edited religion books at Health Communications), and I also continue to collect stories from parents of twins for another book. Although I’ll probably always be involved in writing about parenting, I’d also love to write and publish a novel one day.” MWLM: Do you keep a journal and if so, how often do you write in it? Do you have a set writing schedule? If so, how do you work that around your family’s needs? What advice would you give moms who are hoping to maintain a regular writing schedule amidst the frequently chaotic business of raising children? SH: “I kept a journal when I was a teenager, but I found that I was most motivated to write when I was depressed or upset about something. Of course, it was probably cathartic to get my feelings down on paper, but it occurred to me years later that if something were to happen to me and my journal were found, everyone would get a really distorted view of my life and feelings! My life really wasn’t as horrible as my diary made it out to be. So I kind of pulled back from keeping a formal journal, but I still find that much of my life manages to make its way into my writings, whether it’s for my blog, Susan Heim on Parenting, or writing articles for Web sites or magazines. They all reflect the joys and struggles that I face as a mother and a wife. I try to write something for my blog at least once a week. People always ask me how I find time to write, and the key is really flexibility. There’s no way I can keep a regular 8 to5 schedule, so I write when my twins attend preschool, usually between 10 and 2, and then again for another hour or so after they go to bed. But my computer is always on so that I can jot down ideas or send e-mails throughout the day as my schedule allows. If my husband takes the twins to the park, I hop on the computer and send a press release or work on a post for my blog. I’ve learned to be very efficient in short spans of time! Fortunately, my teenagers are much more self-sufficient these days, and my husband is a very hands-on father, so that frees up little pockets of time for me here and there.” MWLM: What else would you like us to know about you? SH: “I’m far from perfect, and I don’t want any mother to think that perfection is her goal. As I sit here and write this, my bed is unmade, there’s laundry to be folded, and I have no idea what we’re going to have for dinner! My to-do list is a mile long. But you know what? That’s fine. I’ve learned that some things just aren’t worth stressing over. I also think it’s important for mothers to pursue their own dreams. Giving attention to our children is important, but we’re equally deserving. Spend time doing the things you love, whether it’s writing, cooking, going to school, teaching . . . the sky’s the limit! And find ways to relax. Get more in touch with your spiritual life and your inner wisdom. I read plenty of parenting books, but I also read books about connecting with God, fulfilling my potential and reaching my dreams. Our whole identities shouldn’t be entirely wrapped up in our roles as mothers. We have so much to offer to the world!” Jackie Papandrew is an award-winning writer and editor. Her humor column – Airing My Dirty Laundry – appears in several newspapers in the United States and Canada. Visit www.jackiepapandrew.com to read more of her work.
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MWLM: In addition to writing books, columns and essays, you are also a blogger, and you assist other authors in developing book proposals and manuscripts. What advice do you give other moms who want to be published writers? Is there a glut of “mommy” writing at the moment – both in print and online? How can a mom writer set herself apart?
