Erica Lyon, well-known childbirth educator and founder of the Realbirth Center in New York, says her two children regard birth as a normal part of life, a view that she hopes readers of her book, The Big Book of Birth, will adopt as well. With its comprehensive guide drawn from Lyon’s many years of experience teaching expectant parents, the book offers an antidote to the fear and anxiety that often accompany one of the most significant events in any woman’s life. Prior to opening Realbirth in 2003, Lyon taught at Long Island College Hospital, the New York Foundling Hospital and the Elizabeth Seton Childbearing Center. Erica lives in New York.
MWLM: Your first book – The Big Book of Birth – came out in March 2007. The book guides women through the four stages of labor. Tell us why you wrote the book and what kinds of reaction you’ve received from readers. Has anything surprised you about the reaction to the book?
EL: “I wrote The Big Book of Birth because there was not a specific coping manual on how to move through labor out there. I wanted to write a book that didn’t espouse a method or philosophy, but explained to women what happens in their bodies, how and why various coping tools work, and the possible techniques that could be used if needed. It needed to be a book in which a woman could find a voice that she could relate to. This happens (in the book) by the use of many real-life stories to illustrate how and why various options work for women.
“What has surprised me about the reaction to the book is the amount of relief I hear in women’s voices when they say how much they loved it. I think it’s probably fair to say that I’m a tiny bit of a control freak, and if I’ve gotten myself into something, I try to find out as much about it as possible. What I’ve realized by the positive reaction to the book is how frightened women still are of reading a book about birth. These days, we don’t always want to be told HOW to do something or what is the right or wrong way to do something, and we are often afraid that birth books will be too prescriptive and preaching. Women want to be given fair and all-encompassing options so they can ignore it all for themselves! Yet birth, because it’s so emotionally and physically loaded for us, sometimes evokes a response of ‘I know it’s good for me, but I’m scared to read about it.’ Across the board, women, have told me that they felt reassured by the book because no matter what, there was something practical they could relate to for themselves in it.”
MWLM: What sources did you draw upon in writing the book – your own experiences and those of others? Do you draw from conventional medical wisdom, alternative medicine or a combination of both? Can you give us an overall summary of your philosophy in the book?
EL: “The main sources I used were my training through teaching New York mothers for 12 years. My original certification to teach gave me a starting point, but it’s really through the teaching and the questions and the research that one does over time that develops a philosophy and style for presenting information. I do a lot of independent research, and the book is a strong mix of conventional reasoning and alternative modalities. Part of what expectant parents need to be aware of while pregnant is the need to think critically. Conventional medicine might say X, but does X always apply to everyone? Families, given information and support, can make their own decision with their providers. I personally believe that the concept of ‘alternative’ is fading. How we cope is a continuum, not an event to be labeled by the word ‘conventional’ or ‘alternative.’ My overall philosophy is that the most critical aspect of labor being a positive experience is that a woman can be part of the decision-making process, and she feels respected while she is so vulnerable. That, at its core, is what I want to get across to women. Too many women believe that the quick, cursory, insensitive care they are getting is the standard, and really, it’s not.”
MWLM: How old are your children? What was their reaction to your book, and how do they feel about your work?
EL: “I have two children. My son is 13, and my daughter is 10. I am not sure how they feel about my work. So far, my daughter has insisted that she’s going to adopt! I have tried to have clear boundaries about what information they are exposed to over time, but they certainly know more about birth and breastfeeding than most other kids. Most of the information they have been exposed to has not been philosophical or about pain coping, but just explaining normal biology. My son came home from biology class and couldn’t believe that other kids didn’t know what a placenta was. In general, they view birth as a normal, important part of life primarily because it’s the focus of mine, but in their day-to-day life, they don’t talk about it much. They are kids, and when the time comes, they will be ready to hear it. Their reaction to the book was, and I quote, ‘Cool.’”
MWLM: Tell us about your background and how you came to specialize in childbirth education.
EL: “My original background was in medical management and bookkeeping. A basic 9-to-5 job for me that I wasn’t really passionate about, so I wasn’t really called to childbirth education until I gave birth to my first child. When I became pregnant for the first time, I devoured what I could and changed providers to a practitioner who was nice to me at six months of pregnancy. The birth was really positive – boy, did it hurt – but I came away feeling stronger and clearer. The pain was secondary to the power moving through my body, and the experience of having a baby emerge and meeting him for the first time. I was very clear that the information I had come across by chance, and the choices I had made as a result of it, had directed the birth to be as positive and safe as possible. I decided I wanted to share that information and began a certification process to teach childbirth classes.”
MWLM: Do you have other books or other writing projects in the works? If so, tell us about them. How do you find time to write amidst your work and raising your children? What advice do you have for other moms who aspire to write?
EL: “I secretly write poetry. I have as far back as I can remember. But it’s for myself, not with any intent to publish. Often, it’s a processing of a moment of emotion. As for professional writing, I want to continue to write what I teach – about pregnancy and newborns and parenting. There is a lot of material! Finding time to write? That is always the challenge. I think first you have to commit the time – really commit the time. Most writers I know get up early morning for an hour or do it after work. I was lucky in that I had a book deal, so I took a work hiatus and had someone replace me, and I wrote every day for eight hours a day straight. The time commitment is the first step. Sometimes, the dishes and laundry just have to wait if you have something to say that needs to be heard. For moms who aspire to write, my advice is: Don’t give up! Being a writer is like having a splinter. It worries you and worries you, and you won’t feel better until you get it out. Also, I have found it gets easier the more you do it. It is a creative muscle, and the more you work it, the easier it becomes.”
MWLM: Who are your favorite writers, both fiction and non-fiction, and why?
EL: “I read for three reasons and have different authors I turn to for each reason. I read to relax and veg out, and I choose mysteries for that by the likes of Dick Francis, Carl Hiaasen, John D. MacDonald. When I read to feed my soul, I tend to pick Alice Walker, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tom Wolfe, Maya Angelou and Jane Austen. And I read for professional reasons – authors such as Henci Goer, Ina May Gaskin, Penny Simkin, as well as medical journals. I am also addicted to my weekly subscription to The Guardian, the British newspaper.”
MWLM: Anything else you’d like to share with us?
EL: “Thank you for asking me to do this.”
Jackie Papandrew is a freelance writer, wife, mother, and coffee addict living in Florida. Her syndicated humor column, Airing My Dirty Laundry, tickles the funny bone with tales of troublesome teenagers, the agony of aging gums, laughing llamas and bizarre Blackberry behavior – and that’s just for starters. Her work appears regularly in a variety of publications, including the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, The Cleveland Plain Dealer, The Oklahoman and Hybrid Mom magazine, as well as on several Web sites. You can read more of her work at JackiePapandrew.com.
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