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Fumbling Toward Motherhood by Stephanie McCarty Holidays with the kids: a chance to create new traditions Growing up in Florida, I never really had the idealized version of the holidays that you see on TV. Our Christmases were always somewhat relaxed and many classmates of mine spent Christmas Day working on their tans at the beach. We never had a white Christmas or a real tree, and as a child I always imagined what it would be like to sled down a hill or build a snowman over winter break. As kids, our holiday traditions are generally those of our parents and grandparents – but becoming a parent offers the opportunity to create new traditions of our own. It also offers the opportunity to practice patience and flexibility since kids don’t always go along with things exactly as we have planned. Prior to becoming a mother, I had many preconceived ideas about how holidays would be once I had children of my own. Now that we have kids, we have established some of our own interesting family traditions. After nearly two decades of attempting to match the faded colors on the artificial tree limbs to the manufactured trunk, I was anxious to have a real, live tree displayed in our home. Actually having a live tree has been more of a challenge than I expected – from picking up the endless number of falling needles so the dog doesn’t eat them, to keeping both dog noses and toddler fingers out of the water in the tree stand. In my pre-parent days, I imagined decorating the tree together, sharing memories of Christmases past while we’d delicately unwrap each ornament and place it gently on the tree. Unfortunately, hanging precious ornaments with a toddler often means realizing that the “ball” your 2-year-old has decided to roll across the floor to the dog – is really a ceramic ornament commemorating your marriage. Now, decorating our tree has become a race to get each ornament on the tree before our daughter has a chance to take the last one off again. I always imagined taking our children to visit Santa – snapping pictures of them snuggled up on his lap sharing their Christmas wishes. Unfortunately, our oldest daughter has a fear of costumed people and has avoided Mr. Claus for all three of her Christmas holidays so far. We are making progress however, as last time she agreed to let me hold her and lean her in to Santa to tell him she wanted a play kitchen for Christmas, while in the same breath demanding a lollipop from him. We have enjoyed watching holiday movies together as a family – like I’d always imagined – except it’s really only one movie – Rudolph the “nose off reindeer” which we usually watch several times in a row while our daughter quotes (or misquotes) her favorite lines. And in the spirit of Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, we have become part of the neighborhood light show. Prior to parenthood, we hung a few tasteful icicle lights on the house and some garland on the mailbox. Now that our daughter has developed a fascination with all things lighted – tasteful has gone out the window. Our simple strands of icicle lights have been joined by a fiber optic train, a waving Santa Claus, and a giant light-up Winnie the Pooh lawn decoration. We have a snowman waiting in the wings but unfortunately our electrical outlet wasn’t up to the challenge, so we’re awaiting the help of a licensed electrician before adding to our display. I did draw the line at the giant inflatable, light-up carousel snow-globe my daughter was begging for – but there are no guarantees she won’t wear me down by next year. Although the decorations aren’t what I would have chosen in my pre-motherhood days, and being dragged outside in the freezing cold to look at them up close at least once nightly isn’t that appealing – my heart just melts when I see my daughter’s face light up like our animated friends in the yard. Our holidays may never resemble those depicted in a Norman Rockwell painting, but I suspect we’ll carry on our own traditions year after year by un-decorating our tree, adding to our light display on the front lawn, and trying to get a few steps closer to Santa. Because I have learned that you can never count on things to go as planned, and what makes for a good tradition is usually something unexpected. And I’ve also learned along the way that the reality of building new traditions with my family has been even better than the fantasy – and far more entertaining.
Stephanie McCarty’s “Fumbling Toward Motherhood” column appears regularly in print and online publications. One of her columns was included in the recent release: “Chicken Soup for the New Mom’s Soul.” Stephanie writes from Ohio where she currently lives with her husband and two young daughters, who are the inspiration for her column. Read more of Stephanie’s work at: www.fumblingtowardmotherhood.com or contact her at: Stephanie@fumblingtowardmotherhood.com.
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