Romance Isn't Rocket Science

by Nicole Dean

Romance isn't Rocket Science, Just Ask Your Kids

The next time you’re browsing Amazon.com, search and you’ll find well over 15,000 Romance books in the “Self Help” section alone. (That’s not including the Relationship books where you’ll find another 368,382 titles.) There are books to help everyone and anyone learn to be more romantic. You’ll find romance books for Christian husbands, romance guides for adults with ADD, romance for older couples, single parents and even romance for Dummies and Idiots.

You’d think, by the sheer number of books on the topic that romance must be something really hard to master. You may even need a PhD in order to ever figure it all out? Or not.

Honestly, I think people really need to open their eyes to what romance really is. Put down the trashy romance novels (yes, I love them, too) and take a good look at the Fabio that’s right in front of you. So your husband might not have the right kind of 6-pack abs (a beer gut doesn’t count as a 6-pack), and he may not have the “come hither” eyes or necessarily say ANY of the right things at the right time. (If only HE had a writer telling him what to say to woo you. Cyrano de Bergerac where are you?) However, he’s all yours – for better or worse, and he may be trying his best but, years of being brainwashed by TV and romance novels have made you blind to his efforts.

I asked some kids their thoughts on Love and Romance. They seemed to understand Love a lot more than many married couples I know.

Here’s what my kids said when I asked “How do you know that Daddy and I love each other?”

Delaney (5):

• He hugs you lots and smooches on you.
• You go on dates.

Mason (9):

• He jokes with you.
• He gets the mail for you.
• He helps you on your computer.
• You always say “Good job, honey!” to him.
• You help him grade papers.

So, how do you know Grandma and Papa love each other?

Mason (9):

• He cooks for her.
• She has pictures of him all over their house.

These are my kids. Brilliant, aren’t they? I think so. They realize that doing things for others shows love. They see that love is shown in different ways by different people. They didn’t say “He buys you things”. They see the big picture.

I asked my friend’s preteen daughters the same question. Here are their responses:

Kathryn (14): I know Mom and Dad love each other because:

• In the first place it's the reason they got married and still are
• They always kiss goodbye when dad leaves for work and also just randomly when they feel like it
• Mom often tells dad how handsome he is
• Mom has lots of jewelry and a big part of it is from dad
• Dad gave mom a grand piano
• It was and is part of God's plan for their lives
• Just because they do

Tara (12): How I know Dad loves Mom:

• They give each other kisses and are not ashamed to do it
• Dad tells mom that he loves her
• He lets her have friends over even though they stay a long time and are noisy
• He gives her gifts, especially one year when he bought her a baby grand piano
• He obeys the bible which commands him to love mom
• He is her husband and protector and admirer.

It’s amazing how our children can see things more clearly than we sometimes can.

Romance isn’t rocket science, so stop making it so darned hard. The next time you’re tempted to buy a book about Romance, just go straight to your kids and ask for their advice instead. They’ll remind you that the simple things mean the most. Go hug him and smooch on him, and tell him he’s handsome. It’s just that easy.

Nicole Dean is the proud creator and owner of www.RomanceYourHusband.com, a website dedicated to helping married couples stay friends and to help them remember why they married each other in the first place. Her disclaimer is: If he's a jerk, this won't work. But, if he's sweet, rub his feet.

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