Learning to Walk

A few short months ago, my then 15-month-old daughter was not yet walking.  Considering most kids start walking around the time of their first birthday, I was becoming concerned.   I thought by this time she’d be skipping on the playground, and climbing the stairs.  I envisioned us having hours of fun romping through the yard.

Even though I know you’re not supposed to – it was hard not to compare her to other kids – especially because there is such pride in boasting that your own child has mastered something BEFORE all of the other children.  All of my girlfriends’ kids the same age were walking – some had begun as early as 9 months.  I shared my frustrations with my girlfriends – who all cautioned me not to be in such a hurry – because once she started walking, my life would never be the same.  If only I had taken their advice.

Early on, my dear daughter had her own unique way of getting around.  By 9 months, she had perfected the boot scoot method of sliding across the hardwood and tile floors on her bottom to reach her desired destination.

A week after her first birthday, at long last, the boot scoot was replaced with crawling, that soon became the phenomenon, “knee walking.”  This new mode of transport – which consisted of my daughter shuffling along on her knees from Point A to Point B, prompted stares of amazement from other moms at Gymboree and indoor playgrounds all over town.  My insecurity reared its ugly head, and I wondered why my child had not yet reached this major milestone.  Was it something I did or didn’t do?

Knee walking not only took its toll on my psyche, but on my poor baby’s knees, which were lathered up with lotion daily to soften the calluses.  Obviously playing outdoors was a challenge as I had to convince my daughter that knee walking was not the best way to get around in the dirt, or on the sidewalk.

At 16 months, knee walking was still the preferred mode of transportation, even though I was sure she should have been walking on her feet by now, so the pediatrician suggested a physical therapy evaluation – which did little to calm my nerves.

During the weeks leading up to the appointment, I convinced myself that there must be something physically wrong with my little girl, and she would never walk.  (My husband thought I had gone off the deep end, and urged me to relax – patience has never been my strong suit).

All the while, my little knee walker went about her business – happily getting where she needed go to – very quickly I might add. 

By the time the appointment arrived, our 17-month-old had begun pulling herself to a standing position, but would quickly return to her knees, which had proven to be a very reliable way to get things done.

The physical therapist (who was just as patient with me as she was with my daughter) watched closely as she asked our little girl to retrieve items across the play mat and up on shelves.  Our daughter responded very carefully, grasping items in a very calculating fashion, but ultimately chose to deliver the toys to us on her knees.

We worked with her for several weeks before returning for a follow-up appointment with the therapist.  Our sweet 18-month-old was moving in the right direction, more consistently pulling up on her feet, and expressing more interest in standing fully upright, so the therapist determined there was nothing physically wrong with her.  Diagnosis:  she was a very cautious child and would not attempt new things (i.e. walking on her own) until she was sure she could master them.

Simultaneously, I felt a sense of relief and a surge of impatience.  When would she be ready to do this on her own?  Would I have the only 2-year-old in town running around Chuck E Cheese on her knees?

While I watched my friends’ kids – most of whom were big risk-takers, jumping off stairs and chairs with little thought of any consequence, I thought about how my own child would lift her arm and ask for “hep” – her way of saying help – if she weren’t sure she could do something herself.

This was difficult for me to comprehend.  The baby books all talked about the “normal” time frame for kids to reach certain milestones – the said nothing about kids having different personalities – so how could I have known?  Maybe they should give Myers-Briggs testing to babies and toddlers so parents can be prepared to deviate from the norm.

 A few weeks later, my husband and I went to a football game watching party at a local restaurant/tavern, and took my daughter with us.  By this time, she would walk as long as one of us was holding her hand.  She spent much of the game parading us both around the restaurant – prompting smiles from the other patrons.  At one point, we had taken a break from our expeditions to watch a good play in the game.  When we looked up, our tentative little walker was halfway across the restaurant! She had walked on her own!  My husband and I looked at each other in disbelief.  After weeks and months of coaching, she had chosen this time to set off on her own (and she wouldn’t stop – she walked around and around the restaurant for about an hour, until she was so tired she had to stop).  Interestingly, she hadn’t been privy to all the baby books and milestone charts and had chosen to take this big step – in her own time and on her own schedule.

I had spent months wishing she would walk, instead of just enjoying her time as a baby, and ignoring my girlfriends’ warning that once this milestone had been reached, my life would never be the same.  Apologies to my girlfriends, but at the time, I thought they all were crazy!  Why on earth would life be more complicated with a walker in my presence?  Wouldn’t her walking make my life easier – no more heavy lifting, and stopping to help her walk up a step or climb onto the sofa?  Well, I quickly found out what they were talking about. 

Gone are the days of taking a quick shower while my daughter sits entertained in front of a Baby Einstein video.  Now my showers are spent half under water, half chasing my daughter down the hallway to retrieve eyeliner and lipstick out of her hands. 

A recent afternoon of holiday shopping turned into a game of hide-and-seek under clothing racks, as I sprinted through the store trying to corral a squirmy toddler who was squealing with laughter at the sight of her out-of-breath mommy.  (My mother-in-law did get a huge kick out of watching this).

As I chased my daughter around the store, I realized three things:  1) It’s a good idea to wear running shoes when shopping with a toddler; 2) you should pay attention to your girlfriends’ advice, and 3) my little baby had officially become a little girl.

At that time, part of me ached for the days of crawling and knee-walking, and wished I had enjoyed those moments instead of wanting her to grow up.  Now I wish she would slow down – because my baby is growing up way too fast.

Stephanie McCarty, is a freelance writer and public relations consultant.  She also works part-time as Public Policy Coordinator for her local Chamber of Commerce, and is co-president of the local chapter of the Association for Women in Communications.  Stephanie worked in PR and media relations full-time for more than a decade, before starting her own writing and consulting career.  She grew up in Florida, where she earned her B.A. in English (Creative Writing) from The Florida State University.  Stephanie has lived in various parts of the country, including Washington DC, where she earned an M.A. in Political Management from The George Washington University.  While in DC, she worked as a press secretary on Capitol Hill, and in the public affairs departments of a national public relations agency, a large university, and a major corporation.  She has also served as spokesperson for two political campaigns. 

Stephanie says, "During my professional tenure, I have worked on political campaigns, in the halls of Congress, and in corporate PR – but nothing could have prepared me for the roller-coaster ride that is motherhood." 

Stephanie lives in Central Ohio with her husband and daughter, who is the joy of her life. She credits her little girl with inspiring her to find her true writing passion.

Stephanie's website, www.fumblingtowardmotherhood.com, is currently under construction. For more information, please contact her at stephanie@fumblingtowardmotherhood.com.