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PROFILE An Interview with Ami McKay
Ami McKay says when she was a child, she loved finding things: “a jar of my grandmother's old buttons, a cigar box filled with boy scout badges and river stones, a well-worn copy of “The Stories of Eva Luna,” a flouncy party dress pushed to the back of my mother's closet – circa 1955.” And each relic had a story, either real or one born in her rich imagination. In her best-selling 2006 debut novel, “The Birth House,” McKay uses her abilities as a story teller to give an engrossing account of a midwife in Nova Scotia at the turn of the 20th century. Raised in rural Indiana, McKay moved to Scots Bay, Novia Scotia in 2000 (“for the love of a good, Canadian man,” she says) and embraced the writing life. She and her husband have two sons. MWLM: The Birth House has been called the surprise blockbuster of the year in Canada. It actually knocked The Da Vinci Code out of the number one spot on The Globe and Mail bestseller list. What gave you the idea to write this book? How did motherhood influence the writing of this novel, and how has it changed who you are as a writer? AM: I had moved with my husband and oldest child from Chicago to an old farmhouse on the Bay of Fundy in Nova Scotia. By the time spring rolled around, I was pregnant with my second child. When a neighbor heard the good news and noticed I was showing, she started telling me stories about the history of my house, explaining that it had once been the home of a midwife during the World War I era, and that many babies had been born there. One thing led to another, and more of the older women in the community came forward with their memories of the midwife. I began recording their stories for a radio documentary and soon realized that the things they were talking about – women passing along traditions and wisdom, women supporting one another through pregnancy, childbirth and everyday life – were things I longed for in connection with the upcoming birth of my son. I was so inspired by their stories that I sought out a local midwife and wound up having a homebirth. When people ask me how long it took to do the research for “The Birth House,” I always smile and say, "nine months." With the birth of my son, I realized how our stories, as women – past and present – are tied together. It was the combination of gathering those women's stories along with my own experience of becoming a mother for the second time that led me to start writing the novel. I had a real sense of fearlessness after that birth. I think it was due to the confidence that often comes with a second birth, and the empowerment I felt in having a birthing experience where I felt my choices were honored. Writing, even in limited stretches while I breastfed my new baby, felt important and electric to me after that. MWLM: Have you been able to pass along your love of reading and writing to your children? AM: I think so. Both of the boys (ages 13 and six) enjoy reading, and best of all, they love to tell stories. They go about it in different ways, but they always seem to settle down and end the day with a book. Of course, the 6-year-old has about had it with hearing about my first novel. He recently announced that he'll be writing his memoir soon, so I should let my editor know that it's coming. MWLM: In 2000, you began writing thank-you notes to people you didn’t know. This led to a guest appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Tell us why and how you began writing the notes (and who you wrote to) and how it led to the Oprah appearance. AM: The whole thing started off as a joke. I had always been a closet writer, scribbling in journals and shoving them under the bed, hoping they would never see the light of day. My husband was the only one I had ever shared my writing with, and he had dared me to make a New Year's resolution to send something out for publication. In an attempt to weasel out of the dare, I said I'd be willing to "write thank-you notes to people I didn't know." He just smirked and said, "Fine, but the first one had better be to someone big!" So, I sent a thank-you note to Oprah Winfrey via her Web site. I told her the true story of a time in my life when everything had fallen apart (my boyfriend left me with just a note, and a week later, I was in the hospital from a nasty car accident) and someone she'd had on the show had really inspired me and helped me to change how I looked at life. Within 48 hours, the phone rang, and it was a producer from the Oprah show calling to see if I'd be willing to come to Chicago and be interviewed on the show. It was such a turning point for me. I came away from the experience feeling like it was time for me to tell my own stories. And I can look back and say I'm the first novelist who was on Oprah before writing a book! MWLM: You earned undergraduate and graduate degrees in music and at one time taught high school music. How does your music background affect your writing style? Do you listen to a particular type of music when you write? AM: My training as a musician has influenced my writing voice as well as my daily writing practice. Writing is much like practicing an instrument or training as an athlete or practicing meditation. Regardless of how many words get put down on the page, or how many of them I cross out during one of my brutally honest editing sessions, I learn something every time I sit down to write. I even keep a little sticky note on my desk that says: "no writing is ever wasted." I believe that 100 percent. I also believe in the musicality of words, phrases and story. I read every line out loud through every draft. If the words don't sound right to my ear, then I go back at it until it does. MWLM: Your next novel, “The Virgin Cure,” is set in 1870s New York City, and you’ve said it’s loosely based on the life of your great-great grandmother, one of the first female doctors in the city. Did you have family stories passed down through the generations as an inspiration for this book? When is it coming out? Do you see any parallels between the issues facing women in the 1870s and those facing women today? AM: Sadly, much of this incredible woman's history had been lost over the years, and my mother only knew bits and pieces about her life. My mother was actually named after her and had always wanted to know more about her, so in the last few years, I began tracking down census records, archival records and medical journal articles in an attempt to give my mom a better idea of who her namesake was. My mother died this past January, but I was fortunate to have been able to share much of my research and the beginnings of the novel with her before she passed. It's looking like it will be published in the fall of 2008, and I'm looking forward to sharing this story with others. Sarah (my great-great grandmother) worked in The Women's and Children's Infirmary of New York. It was founded so that women had a place to take their children and themselves for free health care. The tenement district of the Lower East Side was so full of poverty. Living conditions were horrific, and diseases were rampant. Sarah dared to speak out and write her dissertation on syphilis at a time when many men believed that having sex with a virgin would cure the disease. Tragically, we are seeing this same kind of myth being played out in Africa in connection with AIDS. The parallels between the world today and Sarah's world – inadequate health care for the poor, child prostitution, the spread of diseases, the inequality and disregard for women's lives – make writing the novel both heartbreaking and important for me. I hope that by showing the past, we will also look at ourselves in the present. MWLM: How has your life changed since becoming a well-known writer? AM: I've had to devote a lot more time to putting myself out there than I used to. My wardrobe was once mostly made up of overalls and garden clogs. Now I have to get cleaned up once in a while and put on make-up. We've also had quite a few visitors make the trek out to the house because they want to see the real birth-house that inspired the book. It's quite a thing to be brushing my teeth in the morning and see someone hanging out the window of a car to snap photos. I wouldn't trade it though. I love my readers, and it's amazing to be able to continue to make my life's art out of something that's also my passion. MWLM: “The Birth House” is about childbirth in the 1900s. With your second child, you had a home birth with the assistance of a midwife in 2001. Did that experience lead you to write the book? Would you make the same decision today to have a home birth?
AM: Every birth is different, so I can't say that I'd definitely have another home birth if I had another child. That said, it's what I would hope for. My family doctor was very mindful during my entire pregnancy and supported my choice to have a midwife-assisted homebirth. I think it's important to note that most midwives today are highly trained, skilled practitioners who bring together not only the traditions of the past, but the latest in modern birthing techniques and procedures. The midwives who attended my home birth were amazing, and I had complete confidence in them and in myself. I had had a difficult birthing experience with my first son and much of the stress and interventions that occurred were because I didn't feel comfortable in my surroundings at the hospital. Having a homebirth was the right choice for me, and a beautiful, relaxed experience for my entire family. It definitely helped me in my writing and in understanding the strengths of a woman's body and the importance of embracing the birthing experience, no matter how one chooses to go about it. MWLM: Do you keep a journal? Do you have a writing schedule, and are you successful at sticking to it? What advice would you give other moms who aspire to write but have trouble finding the time amid the chaos of raising children? AM: I do keep a journal. I don't write in my personal journal every day, but I write in it often enough that it feels like a lifeline to me. It helps me get what's stewing in my heart and head out on the page so I can get on with my art. I also keep a writing journal. I fill it with all kinds of things – sayings, articles, snatches of dialogue, photographs, names, character sketches, etc. that will inform and inspire whatever I'm creating at the moment. I think it's really important to have something like that, a journal or a notebook or a three-ring-binder, where you can keep things that will feed your imagination. As a mother, you don't always have time for long stretches of writing, but you might have twenty minutes to put together a mini-collage with magazine clippings and a glue stick. Next time you sit down to write, you'll have something to riff on. The other lesson I've learned is that you have to make time for yourself that's specifically for your art. At first, you might only get in one or two 30-minute sessions a week. When I first started, I remember feeling incredibly guilty for taking any time at all. Then my husband pulled me aside one morning and said, "You're much easier to live with when you're writing." Just remember, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. MWLM: You live in Novia Scotia, but are originally from Indiana. Do you find real differences between Canada and the United States in the way motherhood is viewed and in the daily lives and health of women? AM: Although I miss the energy of Chicago and the muscular, bold ideas that seem to be at the heart of the U.S., I was ready for a change. For many different reasons, I don't doubt myself here as much as I did when I lived in the city. Some of my self-doubt was created by the fear that came with always worrying about making ends meet, the violence in my neighborhood and in wondering what I'd do if I had a major health crisis. Having been a mother on both sides of the border, I'm very grateful for Canada's healthcare system. I don't know how many times I scraped together the money to pay for health insurance in the U.S., knowing that far too many hardworking mothers were one emergency room visit away from living in their cars or in a shelter. I've been thinking about those mothers a lot lately as I write the next novel, and I realize that no matter where I live, my heart will always be with them. Jackie Papandrew is a freelance writer, wife, mother and coffee addict living in Florida. Her syndicated humor column, Airing My Dirty Laundry, tickles the funny bone with tales of troublesome teenagers, the agony of aging gums, laughing llamas and bizarre Blackberry behavior – and that’s just for starters. Her work appears regularly in a variety of publications, including the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, The Cleveland Plain Dealer, The Oklahoman and Hybrid Mom magazine, as well as on several websites. You can read more of her work at JackiePapandrew.com.
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