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MomfulnessTM

by Denise Roy


Say yes to your creative gifts

“Inside you there is an artist you don’t know about...
Say yes quickly, if you know, if you’ve known it
from before the beginning of the universe.”
- Rumi

All mothers are artists; we nurture children, create beauty in our homes, engage in good and meaningful work. Yet often we are so involved in just surviving one busy day after another that we lose touch with how creative we are, or we don’t make time to express ourselves in ways that make us feel more fully alive.

Fifteen years ago, my friend Karen was a mother, a wife, and an accountant. Her life on the surface was great – she had plenty of money, a nice home, two beautiful kids, a good job. Nevertheless, underneath all of these things, she felt something stirring within her. She did not know what it was at first; the way she describes it now is as a time of awakening. Part of her was saying: There is more to you than you are letting on. There is a wildness, a beauty, a freedom, a strength that has been kept under lock and key for a long, long time. Will you allow that part out, let it find expression?

Accustomed to playing with numbers but not with creative materials, Karen slowly began to play with art supplies with her two young children. On weekends, she hung white sheets up in the garage, and she and her kids dipped their hands in blue and red paint, covering the giant canvases with their handprints.

Karen bought an art journal for herself, and one for each of her children. After dinner, they sat together and colored. The children drew pictures that expressed what was going on inside of them, and Karen learned things about their lives that she would not otherwise have known. She also learned a lot about what was going on inside of her.

One day Karen took her sketchbook, and for the first time, without the kids, she just sat by herself and drew. “It was so elementary,” she told me. “But during this time, I got to be with me. The picture was just mine. Later that night, an image came to me, of a little girl holding a basket, and she was peaking around a tree. I was so curious about her. Who is she? What does she need?”

Karen began to listen to this playful part of her, to be in relationship with the unknown – as scary as that can be. She ended up making some major changes in her life. She realized that being an accountant was not a good fit with the person she really was. She eventually went back to graduate school, and became a psychologist who specializes in creative expression, helping others to awaken to their own potential and manifest the lives they long to live.

Karen shared with me a great quote by the author SARK, and I put it right beside my computer. I often read it, especially on those days when I feel overwhelmed by ‘to-do’ lists or by my own inner doubts:

“Your creativity is an immense force that is inside your every cell. Your creativity in action is so needed by the world and the people in it. No other person has your eccentric blend of ideas, attitudes and perceptions. No one can see with your eyes. No matter how lumpy or faded or boring you feel, your creativity is of immeasurable value. There are treasures inside those lumps. Your creative thinking can save lives and souls and feed starving artists. The children need your creativity. You cannot say “I’m not very creative” until you have explored your soul and heart’s gifts."                                                                                            -SARK

May each one of us say YES to exploring our creative gifts and sharing them with our world.


Denise Roy, LMFT, M.Div., is an author, a licensed marriage and family therapist, a popular speaker, and a mother of five. Her books and audiotapes include Momfulness: Mothering with Mindfulness, Compassion, and Grace (Jossey-Bass, 2007), My Monastery Is a Minivan (Loyola Press, 2001) and Meditations for Mothers (Random House Audiobook, 2007). Her essays have also been included in these books: Your Children Will Raise You; I Like Being a Mom; The Miracle of Sons; Spiritual Surrender; and Humor for a Mom's Heart.

Denise and her husband live in the San Francisco Bay area; they have three grown sons, an 11-year-old daughter, and an 18-year-old foster daughter from Iran.

For more information, please contact her at denise@deniseroy.com and visit her Web site at www.DeniseRoy.com.



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