Fumbling Toward Motherhood
by Stephanie McCarty
Never say never
I swore it would never happen. I would never, ever be a mini-van driving mom.
Unlike most moms, I don’t really cook (unless you count mixing together some Hamburger Helper or popping a frozen entrée into the oven) – although I do have a few recipes that I can handle if the opportunity arises that I’m forced to look domestic; and I only clean on occasion. Overall, I am domestically challenged, having felt far more confident in my previous career – for which I was professionally trained, than my current career of motherhood - for which I feel perpetually unprepared.
Since I don’t fit the domestic mold of a typical stay-at-home mom, then why should my car? For all of my adult life, I have driven small cars – all three of which fit nicely into the compact car category and the compact car spaces dominating parking garages all over the country. I made the drastic move from a 2-door small car to a 4-door small car in anticipation of our first child. I was sure it would be easy enough to climb into the backseat and secure an infant into her car seat, and for a while, it was. But as my infant turned into a toddler – this became increasingly difficult. But at least I could stand her on the backseat and she could climb into her car seat in the middle – so it worked.
Several friends of mine are minivan owners and tried to convince me to come over to their side – but with one child there was no way I needed to drive something that big – so I brushed them off and entertained the notion of someday moving up to a crossover vehicle or maybe an SUV, but never a minivan.
Upon learning that we were expecting our second child a few months ago, I began wondering how I would squeeze two car seats into my small backseat – and how comfortable any car ride would be with my daughter’s ever-growing, longer legs pressing into the back of the front seats. Somehow, we would make it work. I could put her behind the passenger side (we never took long trips in my car anyway – we always used my husband’s SUV for that), and the baby could ride behind me.
But wait, they say it isn’t safe for babies to be behind the driver, right? Hmm – we would have to start looking at larger vehicles sooner than I thought.
I began scouring the Internet for a crossover or an SUV that would give us the additional space we needed. My husband and I are both very tall, so we’d have to have the front seats back as far as they’d go, and finding a vehicle with ample space between rows would not be easy – but I was determined.
As the early months of my pregnancy passed, my belly grew larger and my backaches became more frequent. My minivan friends began extolling the virtues of their vans – and how easy it is for their kids to just walk right into the van and climb up into their seats (I’d been testing out my SUV theory with my husband’s car – my 3-year-old could not climb up on her own which meant we’d have to lift her, and lifting a 33 pound squirming child while pregnant was not an easy feat).
Those same friends continued their testimonials and had me wondering how I’d ever be able to secure my daughter and an infant in a car seat carrier in the same vehicle without the ease of automatic sliding doors. Hmmm – maybe they had a point. I envisioned my rebellious preschooler darting out into traffic while I struggled to secure my infant’s car seat, and after months of fighting it, I gave in. Although I swore I would never become a soccer mom – I’m now the proud owner of a minivan.
Although it may not be the sportiest car I’ve ever owned, it has far more amenities than I’d ever had in any previous car. Leather seats – for ease of cleaning up all those juice box spills; the much-touted sliding doors (which I’ll admit have become my favorite amenity); plenty of room between rows – and my daughter’s favorite – the built in DVD player (sure to come in handy for our semi-annual road trips).
My daughter absolutely loves HER new van. The first night we brought it home she insisted we drive around the neighborhood so she could sit in her special seat (and try out the new DVD player of course). She wanted to take the nine-hour trip to see her grandparents in Virginia right then and there. In fact, for the first few nights after we got the van, she turned down her favorite bedtime stories and insisted on having us read the dealer brochure to her and make up a story about her and her new van instead!
While I may not share the same level of enthusiasm for our new vehicle as my daughter does, I’m finally willing to admit that the convenience is probably worth it in the end. Anything to make this parenting journey easier is fine with me.
Stephanie McCarty,
is a freelance
writer and public relations consultant. Stephanie worked in PR and media relations full-time
for more than a decade, before starting her own writing and consulting
career. She grew up in Florida, where she earned
her B.A. in English (Creative Writing) from The Florida State
University. Stephanie has lived in various parts of the country,
including Washington DC, where she earned an M.A. in Political Management from The George Washington University.
While in DC, she worked as a press secretary on Capitol Hill, and in
the public affairs departments of a national public relations agency,
a large university, and a major corporation. She has also served as
spokesperson for two political campaigns.
Stephanie says,
"During my professional tenure, I have worked on political campaigns,
in the halls of Congress, and in corporate PR – but nothing could have
prepared me for the roller-coaster ride that is motherhood."
Stephanie lives in
Central Ohio with her husband and daughter, who is the joy of her life. She credits her little
girl with inspiring her to find her true writing passion.
For more information, please contact her at
stephanie@fumblingtowardmotherhood.com and visit her Web site, www.fumblingtowardmotherhood.com.
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