Ever bragged to friends about what a great help your husband is around the house, only to find yourself one night at 10 o'clock, in the kitchen, doing dishes while he watches TV?

Ever secretly wished for a job outside the home, or a way to quit your job outside the home? Ever felt guilty for enjoying time away from your kids?

Perfect Madness by Judith Warner, a former correspondent for Newsweek in Paris and author of several non-fiction books including a Hillary Clinton biography, is a must-read for all mothers. Its ultimate message: Moms, you're not alone. How you feel is how women across the country feel. Warner argues the current American way of mothering is a form of crazy-making, with mothers and kids as the ultimate losers.

The book tackles the historical issues of motherhood that lead current young moms, the new generation of mothers, to be so guilt-ridden whatever decisions they make and to feel so isolated in their experiences. Warner seamlessly weaves historical trends with personal anecdotes and interviews with moms across the country. For instance, she shares how as a generation we have gone from the 1950's mom, who she says mostly bottle-fed their kids and felt little angst about plopping them into a playpen for their own safety and enjoyment (which gave mom some worry-free downtime) to today's moms who feel guilty if they bottle-feed or take a 10-minute timeout for themselves with junior in the playpen.

Warner explains how the American culture holds mothers to unrealistic standards while not providing the structure to support their fundamentally important work raising the next generation. Through countless mothers' comments, she pokes holes in the theory (think 1980's TV commercial) that women can "bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan." She shows how mothers are torn between work and family and are realizing they bought into a myth when they thought they could do it all, at least all at the same time.

In addition, Warner compares her own mothering experiences living abroad with young children to what she calls the "choking cocktail of anxiety, guilt, and resentment" that she and many of her suburban friends found went hand-in-hand with being a mom in the land of the free. Readers will find themselves shaking their heads "yes" as they relate to accounts of other women's circumstances. Mothers who read this book are giving themselves an irreplaceable education, which puts into context the larger significance of their own daily lives.

Rene DeCair is a former newspaper journalist-turned English teacher-turned temporary stay-at-home mom. She publishes her own "share letter" for moms called Mother ME. A non-fiction essay she wrote on teaching in a poverty area was just accepted into a yet-to-be published book about our nation's poorest students. In her "spare time," between the hours of 10 p.m. and midnight, DeCair fantasizes about what she would do with more free time, like starting her own cookie business, joining a women's rowing team or mastering Japanese cooking. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, 6-year-old daughter, 4-year-old son, and their 8-year-old Bassett hound.

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