GUEST PROFILE

An interview with Amy Tiemann
by Christine Louise Hohlbaum

Motherhood unleashed a completely new perspective for Amy Tiemann, PhD. Before becoming a mother, she was a research scientist and high school teacher. It was a highly organized way of life, and she liked it that way. After leaving her career track to stay home with her daughter, Amy realized she needed to reinvent herself. When her new creative priorities came into focus, she set her sights on finishing her young adult novel, High Water.  She then turned her attention to motherhood itself, writing the guidebook she wished had been available when she was a new mom.  Amy shares her strategies and cultural criticism through her book, Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family, and website www.MojoMom.com. Her research and outreach will continue to expand with the founding of the new MOJO Center for Women's Leadership. Amy has a life-long interest in generational issues and has worked as a trend analyst for the marketing firm Yankelovich. She is a smart mom with down-to-earth advice we can all use. I recently chatted with Amy about motherhood, midnight feedings, and the emergence of self.

Christine Louise Hohlbaum: What exactly does Mojo mean?

Dr. Amy Tiemann: Mojo is the spark of power and creative energy that makes each of us unique as individuals as well as moms.  One you get your mojo revved up, you can channel this energy into many different directions.

CLH: Where did you get the idea?

AT: After the first two years of motherhood, I was feeling quite burned out and unsure of who I really was anymore. I felt like I had faded into a generic, almost invisible mom stereotype in the eyes of the world. I finally carved out time for writing and improvisational comedy to rekindle my own creativity. Once I felt that spark reigniting, I connected it with the word “mojo.” I had experienced that wonderful sense of energy and flow in the past, but I did not fully appreciate it until I lost it for a long time, and then got it back.

CLH: Going from a PhD in Neuroscience to full-time motherhood must have been a
huge transition. How did you manage it?

AT: After I was a neuroscientist, I was a teacher, which is a highly structured job.  One of the keys to adapting to motherhood was realizing that I couldn't direct family life as I could a career. I was driving myself nuts expecting motherhood to conform to my expectations. I had to let go of how I thought life should be and make peace with the reality in front of me. When I stopped struggling against my expectations, I was able to appreciate the fact that my life was pretty great.

CLH: That is so true! What advice would you give other mothers?

AT: Learn to take gentle care of yourself as well as your children. Resist the temptation to prove that you can "do it all," right from the start. You have to learn to share power with your partner, if you have one, and invite family and friends into your life. Connections with other mothers can be a lifesaver. It's like searching for a new kind of soul mate.

CLH: Speaking of soul mates, Mojo Mom Circles sound like great fun. How can moms get started?

AT: Once I realized how much mothers were craving a meaningful opportunity to get together, I created a free Mojo Mom Party Kit that I offer through my website, www.MojoMom.com. You can throw a one-time party or start an ongoing circle to strengthen your support network.

CLH: It sounds really easy to do. So support is important. What other things should new moms look for/avoid in the early days of motherhood?

AT: The key word for new moms is sustainability. You need to develop a parenting style that can carry you beyond six weeks, to six months, and six years. Of course all styles will adapt, but there are diverging philosophies that will work best for different families. For instance, when considering a sleep strategy for your family, you need to take your own well-being into account as well as your baby's. My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 16 months old. My habit of running to her several times a night led us all to become sleep-deprived and burned out.

CLH: Yes, burnout is common in parents today. Back to school, for instance, can be a nightmare for parents. How do we handle our kids' nagging for designer clothes or the hottest new gadget?

AT: Set your priorities and values and stick to them. There's nothing inherently wrong with gadgets or new clothes. The problem is the cultural pressure to fit in, and the nagging and bullying that our kids can use to guilt us into buying thing to that they say will make them happy. Consumerism is pushed on parents and kids alike at all levels. It's wearing to have to constantly push back, I know, but part of being a parent is learning how to stand by your principles. Think of what a great example you are setting for your kids when you don't just give in to the latest fads.

CLH: As a trend analyst, you collaborated with the Yankelovich marketing agency to report on new trends in parenting. What did you find out?

AT: The most exciting thing for me was to see the research that identified the emerging trend that Yankelovich calls "iPriority Parenting." These Moms and Dads have found that striking a balance between their family responsibilities and time for themselves helps them enjoy their lives more. These data validated the premise of my work with Mojo Mom, which was a truly gratifying feeling. I've come such a long way from being an isolated new mom wondering if I was the only one who wanted to get her mojo back!

CLH: Thank you for sharing your journey with us, and for helping support so many mothers out there who feel the same. Since your book is available on Amazon, women around the globe will benefit from your message.

AT: I hope so. Thank you. It’s been my pleasure!

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