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Fumbling Toward Motherhood by Stephanie McCarty My Own “Mini-Me” Since my daughter was born two-and-a-half years ago, I’ve listened to countless family members, friends, and even strangers tell me how much my daughter looks like my husband. Well, actually strangers say, “who does she look like?” as if perhaps I’m this child’s aunt or nanny, not her mother. Physically, she does favor my husband – she has his beautiful blue eyes, his lighter hair, and even his face -- and when they’re next to each other – she does look like a carbon copy of her daddy. In the beginning, before a child’s personality begins to evolve, their physical appearance is about the only thing to compare to a parent’s. But over time, as they learn to walk and talk and move from infancy to childhood – their personality takes center stage. And as my daughter’s personality has unfolded, for better or for worse, she has become my very own “Mini-Me.” She started showing signs of being a drama queen (like me) fairly early on. Everything was done in dramatic fashion – from her cries to her laughs to her many intense facial expressions which are exactly like mine. In fact, my husband often says it’s impossible for me to hide my true feelings because all you have to do is look at my face. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t play poker. Now, in the throes of toddler twos, she has become even more dramatic. She must have EXACTLY what she wants, when she wants it –and that is usually NOW! She also got her lack of patience from her mommy who has been known to be a bit unbearable when forced to wait for something she wants. Her favorite words are NO and MINE! Both words are usually screamed at top volume, causing the family dog to spend a great deal of time crouched in fear under any piece of furniture that is close by. The dog (poor guy) has become a target of Mini-Me’s bossiness. This was one of the first signs that my little girl had been watching (and listening) to me and my mannerisms much more closely than I’d anticipated. Now, when the dog begins to bark uncontrollably, Mini-Me yells “Stop it! Stop Barking!” at the top of her lungs, which is usually followed by “Right Now!” Hmm - wonder where she could have heard that? When she’s riding in the car with me and we wait at a stop sign for too long, she has begun saying, “Move it guy!” Great! She’s picked up my road rage. I often enter the room to find her with the phone handset up to her ear “pretending” to carry on a conversation that goes something like this, “Hi, this is Steph,” as she paces back and forth across the room. Recently, we were playing with bath puppets and her frog puppet introduced me to the bunny puppet saying, “Hi, this is my friend Stephanie.” I never realized that bath puppets were so polite. When I repeatedly ask her to do something (like pick up her toys, stop banging her fork on the table, or quit harassing the dog) the irritation in my voice often comes through. Mini-Me’s answer to my requests is usually, “Okay MOMMY, followed by the uggh under her breath that I’ve been known to mumble. On a recent afternoon, after successfully avoiding naptime, she began incessantly repeating, I NEED coffee, I NEED coffee (yes, momma must have two cups of java in the morning to be operational – but I don’t remember saying I NEEDED it!) She likes to mimic me by “typing” away at the computer keyboard, putting on lotion and lip gloss, and even insisting I paint her toenails to look like mine. They say that imitation is a form of flattery – that is until it’s unflattering and forces you to see your bad habits in bright daylight. Her copycat tendencies have forced me to look at my own behavior under a microscope. Perhaps this is why my daughter and I have been known to get on each others nerves (they also say that it’s hardest to deal with the qualities that are like your own). Then there are the times she plays mommy to her baby dolls, swaddling and cuddling them as she kisses them on the forehead. When she pets the dog softly and says, “Good puppy.” When she wants me to sing and dance to all the songs on the Mommy and Me video with her and says, “I love you mommy,” when I oblige. When she politely asks for milk, then says, “Thank you mommy,” when I deliver it to her. When I stub my toe and she says, “You hurt mommy? It’s ok, I get you a band-aid.” It’s at times like these that I truly realize how much my Mini-Me is like me – and for better or for worse – I’m glad.
Stephanie McCarty, is a freelance writer and public relations consultant. Stephanie worked in PR and media relations full-time for more than a decade, before starting her own writing and consulting career. She grew up in Florida, where she earned her B.A. in English (Creative Writing) from The Florida State University. Stephanie has lived in various parts of the country, including Washington DC, where she earned an M.A. in Political Management from The George Washington University. While in DC, she worked as a press secretary on Capitol Hill, and in the public affairs departments of a national public relations agency, a large university, and a major corporation. She has also served as spokesperson for two political campaigns. Stephanie says, "During my professional tenure, I have worked on political campaigns, in the halls of Congress, and in corporate PR – but nothing could have prepared me for the roller-coaster ride that is motherhood." Stephanie lives in Central Ohio with her husband and daughter, who is the joy of her life. She credits her little girl with inspiring her to find her true writing passion. For more information, please contact her at stephanie@fumblingtowardmotherhood.com and visit her website, www.fumblingtowardmotherhood.com.
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