Go Mom Go – No Mom No

The countdown is on…only a few more days until the kids are back in school. Time for me to re-energize, exercise, and get all those things done. Oh wait, this also means that my to do list is about to increase. Volunteering in the classroom, Parent association meetings, sports fundraising, car pooling, baking, making lunches, work, the house, my husband… I am having visions of a TV commercial – Calgon take me away.

As if Moms aren’t busy enough just being moms, society demands so much more of us. There just isn’t the money to cover all the programs for our children. We are asked to give our time and money endlessly. It is always for the sake of our children so Moms start to feel guilty for not doing it. We often find ourselves in the situation where we are left feeling that if we don’t do it, no one will, and our children will suffer.

Through my own personal experience of truly losing my sense of self a few years ago, I have learned that in order to be the best Mom, I have to also be the best Tracy Lyn. This is such a hard lesson for Moms to learn because we feel (or we are lead to feel) that being the best Mom means giving it all to our children. I like to think of Moms as a bank. If you put money into the bank there is money to take out. If you put life, energy, happiness, and enthusiasm into Mom there is life, energy, happiness, and enthusiasm to take out. Of course, the question going through moms minds right now is “HOW?” Sure in print this makes sense but how can it be applied to real life?

1. Determine Priorities for the entire family for this year. When children are overcommitted so are their parents. Extra curricular activities are wonderful for children but so is free playing. As a family, decide on one or two favorite activities per child and limit it to that. Parent’s also get to pick an important activity that becomes a priority – golf, a course, a yoga class, a craft class, etc.

2. Let go of the Guilt (and it takes time) and the belief that we need to be Supermom. Supermom is a myth – we can’t compare with TV moms or the outward appearance of other moms. Moms feel guilty for doing too much or not enough for their children. They feel guilty when they take time for themselves. Be proud of all you can do and are doing – without trying to do and be it all. SO WHAT if you sometimes cook precooked foods, buy cookies for a school event, use a cleaning service, or don’t dust before company arrives. Let things go – enjoy life, yourself, and your family.

3. Create a Sense of Awareness – until we know what we are doing with our time and where it is going, we will not have control. We need to decide if we are getting things done effectively or having to redo things? Are we wasting a lot of time? We need to teach our children to be aware of their time and the decisions they make.

4. Be Realistic – depending on the age of your children, your schedules as parents and events coming up, some years you have more time to give and others you don’t. My husband spent the last year in training for an Ironman. His training schedule was up to 8 hours each weekend day and about 3 hours each weekday. Many family decisions were made around his goal.

5. Be Proactive rather than Reactive. We often get caught up in the moment – the excitement, the guilt, the enthusiasm of others and commit to things we don’t have time for. It is always easier to say, "I will think about it", and then say "No" or "Yes" later. When decisions are proactive (in your control) rather than reactive (in someone else’s control) they mean you have taken the time to truly look at your family's life and made the best decision for now.

Tracy Lyn Moland is the mother of two and wife of an Ironman. She is a regular corporate spokesperson, media guest, and freelance writer. For more tips and ideas, check out her new website http://www.tipsEmoms.com or visit http://www.FindBalance.ca