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The Grass Is Always Greener by C.J. Cornelius
When I was a child, my mom worked full-time. In 1970, that meant she had to put my sister and me in private school where there was after-school care available until she could pick us up after work. I still remember sitting in the after care program, watching the evening approach, and longing to be home. As parents, we are influenced by our own childhood experiences. I certainly wasn't harmed in any way. I played with friends, got help with my homework, and was well cared for in that after school program, but the strongest memory I have is the longing to be home.
Today, my children's public school offers an aftercare program (as well as a before school program) for working parents. Remembering my own longing, however, I've worked my life out differently. I work from home. My work doesn’t begin until the school bus pulls away in the morning and is pretty much over by the time the kids jump off the bus in the afternoon.
I didn't want my children longing for more time with me... longing to be home in their own environment...
Instead, my children long for the aftercare program at school. They watch kids stay behind to play games and have snacks with the same green-eyed jealousy I felt watching kids get on the bus after school.
No matter how hard we try, we can't keep our kids from suffering the grass-is-always-greener syndrome. What would childhood be without a little bit of longing?
After viewing the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, my children complained that we are not ethnic enough. Like I could do anything about that, now?
They longed for the traditional family parties and the mayhem the family brought to the characters' lives. They longed for the pinching of the cheeks by a multitude of family members and the large parties where everyone knows each other's business. Of course, they refuse to see our own traditions as anything except ordinary and dull.
I know that life, too. Raised in the same town I was born in, there wasn’t a word I spoke that didn’t get back to my parents. This was before cell phones, but if I sat on the front stoop after school with a guy, my parents knew about it before they got home from work that day.
Perhaps I should be the one longing for such a lifestyle. I‘d pay good money this day and age for the kind of information my parents received from the elderly couple that lived next door to us.
No matter how hard we try, we can't keep from suffering the grass-is-always-greener syndrome. What would adulthood be without a little bit of longing?
Maybe I can help them long for the right things. I want my children to stop longing for swimming pools, yearly vacations, and more allowance unless it encourages them to seek independence.
For example: "If you want a swimming pool, get a college education."
Don’t get me wrong, I realize many people are very successful without a college degree, I just want to keep them longing for something useful.
Okay, so maybe it will just make them long for me to shut up, but that's okay if it helps them seek employment and get their own place.
So much for protecting my children from the longings of childhood. I think it's time to give them something to long for that will be mutually beneficial! It’s the least I can do since I’ve deprived them of being Greek!
C.J. Cornelius currently lives in Gaithersburg,MD with her husband, four children, two dogs, guinea pigs, cat, and hermit crab. She thrives on chaos, except of course, when it makes her bonkers. Visit her web site at http://www.amusingmom.com/amusingmom.html
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