Taking the Time

A few months ago, my daughter turned one.  Before she was born, I imagined all of the time we would have together – taking leisurely walks, attending story time at the library, weekly playgroups, and daily mommy-baby bonding time. 

Much of my third trimester was spent fantasizing about the fun my little girl and I would have once she arrived.  I carried this dream with me through the first week home with my new baby (I think the epidural made me delirious).  In that first week I was determined to be superwoman – with a super clean house and a super clean and blissful baby. 

Sure, I’d heard that you should “nap when the baby naps,” but there would be time for that later.  For now, I had to make sure that I was the perfect picture of Holly Homemaker.  Then reality set in during week two.  We were fortunate to have a baby who was a good sleeper – but mommy was not taking advantage of this.  I was exhausted, sick, and wondering whether I could even handle being a mother.

I thought if I could just get everything done – then I would have some time.  I began marking days off the calendar and things off the To-do list to “get everything done” so I would have time to spend with my daughter.

Somehow days turned into weeks turned into months, and my infant daughter is now a full-fledged toddler. 

During a recent bout with a sinus infection – contracted at a once-in-a-blue-moon playgroup no doubt – I was sitting in the doctor’s office and had an epiphany.  Really I was so bored staring at the floor while waiting for the doctor to see me, that I read the poster on the wall.  It was one of those inspirational posters – you know the kind with a nature scene and an “ideal” that we all should aspire to.  This one titled, “Vision,” read, “The future comes one day at a time, let each day be your masterpiece.”

It was at that moment that it hit me.  In my haste to get everything done ASAP, I was missing the little moments that make life so special. 

I went home that night and hugged my daughter tight.  As usual, she was busy exploring  –  the dog, her blocks – the same things she sees every day, but somehow they are just as interesting and special to her as they were the day before.

Maybe I could learn a thing or two from her. 

She crawled over to me and handed me the same story that she always does – that she’ll want me to read to her ten times in a row.  Normally I’m exasperated by the third reading.  This time I vow to appreciate her curiosity in all the details of each page – the way she’ll point to every apple on the tree before letting me turn the page, and the way her face lights up each time we lift the flap and find the doggie.  I realize now that I should relish the moments we have together, her cuddled up on my lap reading stories, because soon enough she won’t want to do this with me anymore.  I have come to appreciate that these are the things that matter in life.  The dishes and the vacuuming can wait.

Stephanie McCarty, is a freelance writer and public relations consultant.  She also works part-time as Public Policy Coordinator for her local Chamber of Commerce, and is co-president of the local chapter of the Association for Women in Communications.  Stephanie worked in PR and media relations full-time for more than a decade, before starting her own writing and consulting career.  She grew up in Florida, where she earned her B.A. in English (Creative Writing) from The Florida State University.  Stephanie has lived in various parts of the country, including Washington DC, where she earned an M.A. in Political Management from The George Washington University.  While in DC, she worked as a press secretary on Capitol Hill, and in the public affairs departments of a national public relations agency, a large university, and a major corporation.  She has also served as spokesperson for two political campaigns. 

Stephanie says, "During my professional tenure, I have worked on political campaigns, in the halls of Congress, and in corporate PR – but nothing could have prepared me for the roller-coaster ride that is motherhood." 

Stephanie lives in Central Ohio with her husband and daughter, who is the joy of her life. She credits her little girl with inspiring her to find her true writing passion.

Stephanie's website, www.fumblingtowardmotherhood.com, is currently under construction. For more information, please contact her at stephanie@fumblingtowardmotherhood.com.