Moms and Writing

by Tracy Lyn Moland

I had the opportunity to chat with a few Moms lately about their writing experiences. It is so inspiring to hear their words of wisdom! They all were asked to answer three questions:

1. What prompted you to become a writer?
   
   
2. You are a Mom and a Writer – how do you do it?
   
   
3. What is a favorite quote or tip you have for other Moms?

Stacy DeBroff – Author of The Mom Book and other parenting books.

1. Having successfully run a public interest advising office at Harvard Law School for nine years as a lawyer, I was struck by how many women sought my advice on how to continue their career ambition while being the type of nurturing mom and partner they hoped to become. As I looked at the mayhem around me in my friends and peers, I realized just how hard being a Mom was and how little time we have to gather truly insightful information to make our parenting lives easier. After having spread the word far and wide to my women friends, one introduced me to a literary agent in New York, and off I went. Leaving Harvard for a life as a writer felt like bungee jumping off a bridge and hoping the cord holding you sticks!
   
   

2. Only one secret: WORK FROM HOME. My kids feel as if I am always available to them (except when the big yellow sign goes up on my office door announcing: "Mom is on a radio show! Done soon!" The only tough part: when my 13 and 11 year olds demand to know if the latest basket for stuff going upstairs or the letter I am writing about them to this year's new teachers is "AN IDEA FROM YOUR RESEARCH?" What can I say, it works. Of course, while writing the Mom Book there were roasted orange peels and cloves in the oven to create a heart-warming smell, and everyone was devastated to find out there was no food behind it for eating!
   
   

3. "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined."

Elizabeth Pantley – Author of many parenting books.

1. I began as a parent educator and found that I truly enjoyed teaching parents. I discovered great rewards in hearing how families were able to find more peace and happiness in their homes. Writing was a natural step that allowed me to reach more families.
   
   

2. Calendars, notes, and lists! If I try to keep too much in my head, I get stressed. Writing everything down allows me to take life one day at a time. I also make it a priority to get a full night’s sleep, exercise daily, and eat right – you can’t take care of everyone else if you don’t take care of yourself. Also, I continually remind myself to focus on the important things in life. My guiding principle is that I don’t waste a precious moment obsessing about little things like clutter or a lost library book.
   
   

3. Make it a great day – it’s entirely up to you.

Kathy Lynn – Parenting education and author of Who’s In Charge Anyway.

1. I am passionate about parenting education and, through my business, want to reach as many parents as possible. So, when I was given the opportunity to add a book to repertoire, I jumped at the chance. Who’s In Charge Anyway? was a result of listening to parents tell stories about children making the decisions in the family rather than the parents. The new book, But Nobody Told Me I’d Ever Have to Leave Home came as a result of many questions about teens and young adults who just did not have life skills.
   
   

2. My kids are adults so I am an empty nester.  The balance question doesn’t enter the picture.  When the kids were younger, I worked many fewer hours and was primarily a full-time Mom.
   
   

3. Quote from me “Parenting is too important to leave to chance”.

Christine Louise Hohlbaum – Author of SAHM: I am.

1. Like Sleeping Beauty, my muse was kissed awake by the birth of my children. In truth, I found it to be life-affirming, creative exercise which kept insanity at bay while raising the wee ones...
   
   

2. I'm a minute-snatcher. The moment I have enough time to put three words together, I'm at my computer banging out an idea or two. It can be a rather unconcentrated existence, filled with interruption, but it leads to fulfillment in the long run.
   
   

3. This message goes out to all moms. "Nurture thyself..."

Paula Schmitt – Award-winning author of Living in a Locker Room.

1. I think as soon as I entered the world, my mother took one long look at me and knew!  Seriously, I knew I wanted to write and have people enjoy reading what I wrote when I was in elementary school, probably around the age of seven or eight.  Not only at school but around the house my favorite pastime was reading and writing.  I loved going in to my room, shutting the door, and letting my imagination run free while I created an adventurous story.  I was only seven or eight so at that time my stories weren't too lengthy, but after writing them, I would round up the family and smile from ear to ear as I read my story aloud.  I still enjoy doing this today!
   
   

2. Well, at first this wasn’t an easy thing to do and some days it still can be difficult.  There was the guilt over spending time with my laptop for hours on end instead of using that time to be with my children. Then, when I did set up some kind of a schedule with working hours, I would have the constant interruptions, approximately every ten minutes from one of the five children. Some days I feel like it’s a race with the clock, and I’m losing the race!  So, basically, I plan my weeks out ahead of time and try to follow that schedule with everything on the agenda—working from home, taking the children to their sports practices and games, running errands, and doing everyday chores around the house. It truly is a balancing act, but it can be done.  And if there is something that I do not get accomplished one day that I had planned to do, then I just squeeze it into the next day and see how it goes from there.
   
   

3. Forget trying to keep your house clean and tidy with boys – their sole purpose in life is to mess it up.  It will start first thing in the morning – out come the trucks, the trains, the hot wheels, action figures, and the BALLS!  Trust me, don’t worry about the mess – you may come across to others as a lazy slob, but your boys will love you for it.

Judy Arnall – Parent Educator

1. I wanted to become a writer because I was putting so much effort into making handouts for my classes, and I realized that it could come together in a book format with a little reworking.
   
   

2. How do I combine writing and motherhood? Tough when you are home schooling and have five children around all day.  When I sit at the computer, which is in the main traffic area of the house, our dining room,  I nurse and type with the wee one on my lap.  For the older children, I have a special hat that I wear while sitting and really concentrating on what I write at the computer.  The hat is the signal that mom is not to be disturbed unless the house in on fire or someone is bleeding.  If I sit at the computer with the hat off, they can bug me all they need to. 
   
   

3. "When the student is ready, the teacher appears":  Often we can read the same words in the same book, but in a different time of our life, and it always brings new meanings to us.  Books are everlasting in that way.

Patricia Morgan – Speaker, Author, and Counselor

1. My prompt to write began with a longing to give my struggle as a mother meaning. I accomplished a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology trying to get my head on straight and better myself as a mother and person. Then once a month for eleven years, I wrote a letter to our estranged and cocaine addicted daughter, Kelly. Those letters became the main source of our book, Love Her As She Is: Lessons from a Daughter Stolen by Addictions. Since then I have written She Said: A Tapestry of Women's Quotes, four booklets including The Lighter Approach: 87 Ways to Be an Upbeat Parent and about 100 articles. When life throws a challenge or lessons, writing it down and sharing it gives meaning and purpose. It allows us to reach out and make a difference. Women are the "grandes dames" of connection. Publishing allows the connection to happen in a bigger way.
   
   

2. The only document I wrote when I had three young children was my master's thesis while attending university. For two years, I arranged for an Early Childhood Education student from the college to live with us for "reasonable room and board in exchange for child minding and help in the home." Our "live in" provided that extra support that opened some room for peace and ease. As a mother with grown children, grandchildren, and an aging mother balancing my work passions with family relationships is still a challenge. It's called "sandwiched" or "squeezed." Mostly I feel torn between deciding who needs my support and involvement the most. Yet, it is important to have my own creative outlets and goals so I don't evaporate into their challenges and joys. My patterns of writing are dissimilar to disciplined authors. When I feel inspired, I stay up and rise at all hours. I become a mad woman who does not make time to get out of her sloppy pajamas. I find I am loved, anyway, and I get the piece off to the proofer. Having an "on call" proofreader is a blessing. If I need motivation my proofer and I will agree on a deadline. Off I go. When I was little girl I used to play at "mommy and housekeeping." Now I play at my Light Hearted Concepts business. My work is my personal joy, and I don't mean hobby; it brings much satisfaction. It fuels me and allows me to model to the younger generations a vital example. 
   
   

3. My favorite Patricia quote is, "Remember that your love makes a positive difference—in moments and with people you'd never imagine."

Tracy Lyn Moland - As a Mom Writer myself, my own answers are:

1. I declared in university that I would never, ever write a book. I hated writing papers! Yet as I got into business I found I enjoyed writing "how to" articles for parents on time management. Parents love to read them and requested more and more. Eventually, someone said, "You should write a book." – and rather than debate the issues with myself, I just did it! I have found that I love to write, and while I dislike writing in journals, my articles serve as a journaling experience. So often I will deal with emotions by writing an article about the event – like the first day of school.
   
   

2. Being a mom and a writer is more than just how do I do it. They are connected – if I wasn’t a mom I wouldn’t know what to write about, and if I didn’t write I would be a grouchy mom. I carry coil books everywhere I go and write whenever the urge hits. The funny thing is I prefer to write by hand, yet I find it a pain to transcribe to the computer. I have no set writing times, although if it is important I must be OFFLINE!
   
   

3. My favorite quote is my own, “Take Care of the Me in Mommeee^TM!”